Beware of talking time bombs.

So, you’ve made it to the second step in exploring a path with someone you’ve met online; said step being telephone conversations.  

During these conversations, it is very important that you allow her/him to get a glimpse of who you really are.  You can best accomplish this by answering questions honestly and by offering information that you definitely want her/him to know about you such as any physical limitations you may have, political views to which you subscribe, or religious affiliations you may wish to share.  Do not employ a “don’t ask don’t tell” demeanor.  Doing so will only come back to bite you in the backside. 

Also, and this is very important, do not ask any question you are not prepared to answer, yourself.

During this phase of your exploration, it is extremely important that you listen as well as you hear. 

Listen for, what I refer to as, “talking time bombs”.  Of course, what I consider a talking time bomb will most likely be different from what you consider to be one but the idea is the same.  A talking time bomb is any information that is a deal breaker for you; that is to say, something that you really don’t like or will not tolerate. 

In my case, for example, a talking time bomb would explode if she informed me that (1) she has a pet reptile and/or (2) she is a vegetarian.

It is very important that you be honest, first with yourself, and then with the person with whom you are exploring a path. 

Mark